Well, the big move should happen in a couple of weeks. Still no exact date of arrival for the trailer, so planning for the move hasn't been easy. I just want to get it over with. I want to get there and start getting settled. So much still yet to do though. I've been going through things, and doing lots of purging. I guess one good thing about downsizing is that you have to ask yourself...do I really like this item, is it worth keeping. I'm really quite amazed at how often the answer to that question is "no". I really don't have a lot of things that I feel all that attached to. There are some neat wood carvings that I have that my ex's dad made. They're really cool...and I loved "paw-pa" but to be honest, I just don't feel like those things are all that special to me. So, I've given them to my daughter who just moved into an apartment of her own. She is really the only one of my kids that remembers her Paw-Pa, so I thought she might want to have these special things that he had put a lot of time into. She was happy to get them and it made me feel good to give them to her.
I think I'm excited to decorate my little home the way I want to decorate it. When I was married, he was a very opinionated man...and he liked to decorate. I remember when we first got married, I was excited to decorate. But, he was overbearing on what he liked, and I wasn't and gradually over the years, he took over. He was good at it too, so even though I felt like it was a "woman's job" I allowed him to take over. However, by the end of our 16 year marriage, he had become somewhat of a collector...of many, many things! He went to garage sales constantly and was always picking up stuff. We had LOTS of stuff. That's the stuff that I pay $90 a month to store...and some of it I still have in my home. But I don't want it anymore. I want to let go of all that was ours and get stuff I like. Stuff that will make me smile.
To be honest...I'm not even sure what I like. But somehow, I think it's going to be fun finding out!
By the way, here is a link to an article that I found facinating! This explains pretty much how I have felt about moving into a trailer. It's been hard for me to accept because of other people's negative views. Slowly, I'm coming to the point of exceptance and even anticipation...but it's been a hard way getting there. This woman understands!
http://offbeathome.com/2012/07/trailer-trash-stigma
Monday, July 16, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
i am...
This video has made me think, a lot.
Why is it that we think we NEED so much more than we really do. And WHY are we in such competition with each other? Why is it that we feel we need that big house and that new car to feel good about ourselves? Why do we really care what others think about us...why do we care that they care about our possessions? Do they? Do others really care what we have and what we do with what we have.
It's a rat race...and I want nothing to do with it anymore!
Why is it that we think we NEED so much more than we really do. And WHY are we in such competition with each other? Why is it that we feel we need that big house and that new car to feel good about ourselves? Why do we really care what others think about us...why do we care that they care about our possessions? Do they? Do others really care what we have and what we do with what we have.
It's a rat race...and I want nothing to do with it anymore!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
beginnings...
I wrote an email to a friend today. I'm putting it out there for others to see, to know, about me. I am changing. I can't stay the same. Being the same means being the same unhappy person I've grown accustomed to. Not really grown accustomed to, I guess, because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin when I feel unhappy and unfullfilled. But those feelings have kind of become the norm and I wasn't even really aware of it. Until recently.
You see, I am moving. Into a mobile home. A trailer. And I have struggled with it, majorly. Why? Because of the stigma. Because I can still hear my ex-husband call me "trash." And what term usually comes prior to "trash." Yep, you guessed it. Trailer.
But, I'm done struggling with it. I'm done with the thought that a societal stigma can cause me to feel badly about myself, when in fact, I am doing what is best for me and my children. And who said "more is better" anyway? I think deep down we all know that's a lie that has been told to us by, who else, but the marketing firms for years and years so we would consume more and more.
As for me, I'm ready to just find peace. It's there. I know it is.
Here is the email I wrote to my friend today. The book I'm talking about is called "Achieve Anything in Just One Year." Me...I want to achieve simplicity, peace and freedom!
Joan, Yeah, this book is fitting in nicely with a recent change in my attitude about “things.” As you know, I really struggled with the thought of moving to a mobile home. They hold such a stigma…in Oxford, the people who lived in the trailer park were often referred to as “trailer trash.” To me, I felt like I was moving backwards. I’ve struggled to get my kids to a better place since my divorce. My ex took us so far down financially that I still feel the ramifications from that. So, when it seemed like the only choice I had, financially, was to move into a trailer, I felt kind of devastated. HOWEVER, my way of thinking has been changing quite a bit lately. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on the computer and doing some reading of material that reinforces the good things about downsizing…about how we really don’t need as much as we think we do. How always struggling to get more things is not what brings us happiness. I believe it to be true. I feel like there is a major change in how I look at things…how I look at material things. They are not bad per se, but I don’t need a big home to be happy. My trailer will be new and it won’t be more than I can handle. It’s on the outskirts of town, with the bike trail right behind it. I have a little creek in my back yard. I’m actually getting very excited to move in and make it my own. This book is helping me with realizing that my dreams aren’t really attached to owning a big home or a better car, they never really were. My ex was into all that stuff and ran us into the ground financially trying to “keep up with the Joneses.” I always felt uncomfortable with that. Now I can live how I want…and really the only thing I want is what I need to live a simple life. Funny how at 48 I feel like I am really truly finding myself!!
You see, I am moving. Into a mobile home. A trailer. And I have struggled with it, majorly. Why? Because of the stigma. Because I can still hear my ex-husband call me "trash." And what term usually comes prior to "trash." Yep, you guessed it. Trailer.
But, I'm done struggling with it. I'm done with the thought that a societal stigma can cause me to feel badly about myself, when in fact, I am doing what is best for me and my children. And who said "more is better" anyway? I think deep down we all know that's a lie that has been told to us by, who else, but the marketing firms for years and years so we would consume more and more.
As for me, I'm ready to just find peace. It's there. I know it is.
Here is the email I wrote to my friend today. The book I'm talking about is called "Achieve Anything in Just One Year." Me...I want to achieve simplicity, peace and freedom!
Joan, Yeah, this book is fitting in nicely with a recent change in my attitude about “things.” As you know, I really struggled with the thought of moving to a mobile home. They hold such a stigma…in Oxford, the people who lived in the trailer park were often referred to as “trailer trash.” To me, I felt like I was moving backwards. I’ve struggled to get my kids to a better place since my divorce. My ex took us so far down financially that I still feel the ramifications from that. So, when it seemed like the only choice I had, financially, was to move into a trailer, I felt kind of devastated. HOWEVER, my way of thinking has been changing quite a bit lately. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on the computer and doing some reading of material that reinforces the good things about downsizing…about how we really don’t need as much as we think we do. How always struggling to get more things is not what brings us happiness. I believe it to be true. I feel like there is a major change in how I look at things…how I look at material things. They are not bad per se, but I don’t need a big home to be happy. My trailer will be new and it won’t be more than I can handle. It’s on the outskirts of town, with the bike trail right behind it. I have a little creek in my back yard. I’m actually getting very excited to move in and make it my own. This book is helping me with realizing that my dreams aren’t really attached to owning a big home or a better car, they never really were. My ex was into all that stuff and ran us into the ground financially trying to “keep up with the Joneses.” I always felt uncomfortable with that. Now I can live how I want…and really the only thing I want is what I need to live a simple life. Funny how at 48 I feel like I am really truly finding myself!!
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